Bella's Pillow
by bellaBBblack
Summary: All it took was a kiss, a cool breeze and a firm pillow to help Bella make the most important decision of her life.


**Contest entry for Spanking the Monkey! For additional contest entries, please visit: .net/~spankthemonkey4u**

**Title: Bella's Pillow**

**Name: bellaBBblack**

**Pairing: Bella/Jacob**

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or these characters.**

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><p>Her room was dark, except for a small shimmer of pale light that filtered in through the tattered yellow curtains from the sliver of moon not obstructed by clouds. Bella's eyes were open, staring unseeingly at the partially opened window. A cool breeze blew in making her shiver.<p>

She was lying flat on her back, her tousled brown hair fanned out on the pillow beneath her. She had kicked the covers off, and they lay crumpled at the foot of her bed. She shivered; goose flesh prickled her arms, but she made no move to grab the covers.

Bella closed her eyes, trying to will away the images that flooded her mind each and every time she shivered with the cold caress that rustled the leaves of the tree outside her window. She felt a raw, gnawing hunger for warmth inside her; she was on the verge of tears wishing it would just disappear.

Edward was gone, hunting, and she thought feeling the cold air through the thin material of her stretchy camisole and on her naked legs would make her long for his icy fingers on her skin, his delicate touch, his lips hard and unmoving against her own.

But ever since she had kissed Jake, ever since he had coaxed the confessions of her heart from her lips, she couldn't think of anything else. She tried. She tried so damn hard to push it back. But every day seemed to be harder and harder, especially with the wedding fast approaching. She felt like she couldn't even breathe.

She let out a tired sigh and rolled over onto her stomach, burying her head in the pillow. She could still detect the faint scent of Edward there, but instead of pleasure and longing, it caused a ball of guilt to form in her gut.

Another gust of icy wind blew across her skin and in the distance she heard a wolf howl. The howl was unmistakable to her; she could feel it vibrate against her causing her to remember the way Jake's husky voice had felt when he'd whispered in her ear, or how his chest shook with his laughter when her head laid against him. His dark ebony eyes popped in her mind, open and vulnerable, suspiciously bright.

She felt a flash of heat as she thought about him, remembering him climbing in through her window, all hard muscles, smooth tan skin, and smoldering eyes. Her heart picked up its pace.

Beside her, her cell phone rang shrilly, cutting into the thick silence in her dark room. Without lifting her head, she reached out and grabbed it off the nightstand, put it to her ear and answered with a muffled "Hello?"

"Bella," his familiar husky voice breathed and she felt her insides turn to mush. She tried to ignore the desire that she felt at hearing his voice, especially after she was just thinking about him shirtless and them kissing. She had to swallow hard before she could trust her voice to not sound weird when she replied.

"Jake?" she squeaked. Bella bit her lip, cursing herself for sounding so weak. She'd chosen Edward. She'd made promises. Promises with life and death consequences.

"I...fuck—" Jacob cut off in a choked whisper.

"Please Jake! Don't hang up!" Bella blurted before she could think it through. Her body was humming with some sort of anticipation, like she couldn't hold back. Her resolve and her logical rational side were crumbling rapidly. He was quiet for a long time, his ragged breathing the only indication that he hadn't disconnected.

"Can I ask you something?" Jake said softly. There was something about his voice that made her flush from head to toe, something that made her..._want_.

"Sure sure," she replied, and she heard him make a funny noise, somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle.

"Do you ever think about that kiss?" he asked quietly after another long pregnant moment of silence. Bella was fighting against all the emotions that he had suddenly dredged up to the surface. But she felt like it was a useless fight. She had never wanted someone so badly. Never.

"Yes," she whispered so quietly for a moment she wondered if he'd heard her.

He sighed, "Bells, sometimes I just want you. I want to kiss you so bad, so fucking bad, it's like..."

"Like what?"

"Like if I don't I'll have to live with this constant hunger in my gut for the rest of my life," He confessed with such burning emotion she felt the flames of it licking her skin through the phone. When she didn't answer, he continued, "I just want you Bella. I don't know how to let you go."

Bella felt something inside her twist painfully; her chest constricted and before she could talk herself out of it, she admitted the words she knew he wanted to hear, that she shouldn't be saying, but felt so alive and true and heavy against her tongue she had to get it out, "I want you too."

He sucked in a sharp breath, "Bella, I can't—"

The phone disconnected before she could say anything.

Bella fought the sob that threatened to break from her chest and sat up on her bed. There was no denying it anymore. She wanted Jacob Black. She wanted to kiss him, to feel his strong, warm, rough hands on her soft skin. She wanted his scruffy jaw to rub against her cheeks, and to hear him whisper in her ear.

Before she could question herself, Bella grabbed her pillow and stuffed it between her legs, squeezing her thighs around the firm cotton. She thought about the way he kissed her, with reckless, ardent desire. She rubbed herself against the pillow; the friction seemed to soothe an ache and the coil in her gut tightened.

She tried to imagine what it would be like, to be with Jake. What would happen if she went over there right now and climbed in his window? She fantasized about him looking at her with his wide onyx eyes— maybe he'd quirk an eyebrow at her suspiciously. She'd probably be really clumsy and fall through the window, blushing when he caught her. Their eyes would meet, and he'd know. He could always read her like that. She wouldn't try to hide the lust and desire that smoldered in her eyes.

Bella felt a gush of wetness as she rubbed her clit harder against the pillow. She felt the stirrings of arousal and ecstasy shooting through her, rippling across her now heated skin.

He'd kiss her, his warm, soft, full lips pressed firmly to hers, demanding and hungry. His hands would grip her hips, lifting her to him and pushing her hard against his bedroom wall. And she'd succumb, parting her lips and letting his tongue explore her warm, wet mouth as his hands snuck under her shirt, skimming up her ribcage, and cupping her breasts.

"Jake," she whispered to herself in the darkness, squeezing her legs even tighter around the pillow. She was already so close.

She could barely contain herself as she thought about all the places he would kiss her—down her neck, behind her ear, maybe sucking her pert, pink nipple into his mouth. Bella moaned out loud as she felt herself start to tremble and come apart. She increased the pressure and friction, reaching into her panties and pressing her fingers against her swollen flesh.

All she could think about as she came, coating her fingers in her wetness as she stroked herself, was Jake. No guilt, no promises, nothing else except his russet skin against hers, his lips, his husky whispers, his dark eyes and rough hands.

Bella's breathing was ragged and she lay still as she recovered from the force of her orgasm. After a few minutes, she sat up and stared out the window. The clouds had receded and she could see more of the moon glowing brightly in the distance.

In that moment, she made a decision.

Bella scribbled a note and left it laying on her bed, pulled on her faded jeans, a jacket, her sneakers, and grabbed her keys. As she left the room, she turned back to look at the small piece of paper with Edward's name and one word written in her messy handwriting.

_Goodbye._

_**oOo**_

Jacob sat on the edge of his bed, his feet flat against the wood floor, his elbows propped up on his knees and his head in his hands. He shouldn't have called, but he'd been sitting here in the dark replaying their stolen kiss over and over again.

And then to hear her breathy whisper, to say those four words he'd been dying to hear...he just couldn't take it. Thoughts of her pale, silky skin under his fingertips, and her wild waves tickling his face had his dick twitching.

Jacob reached into his boxers and curled his fingers roughly around his hard, thick length. He fell back against the mattress and imagined her here with him, her legs straddled over his hips as he lowered her down onto his erection.

He knew he'd try to be gentle, but when he imagined her breast brushing against his chest, he was sure he wouldn't last long.

He started to vigorously stroke himself, his hand sliding up and down the thickness of his cock, his thumb gliding over the tip, rubbing the wetness there.

He imagined flipping her over, pushing her knee to her chest and gripping her ass as he pounded into her, making her his. Maybe she'd moan his name as he lowered his head and latched onto her neck.

He pumped harder, faster, wishing he could just bury himself deep inside her tight, wet pussy, as he kissed every inch of skin available to him.

Just as he came, hard and fast, spurting onto his rippled abs, he heard a soft clink at his window, and a low, breathy whisper. His boxers clung to the sticky mess he tried to wipe away with a dirty shirt he'd grabbed off the ground.

His window groaned in protest as he opened it, and standing there looking more beautiful than ever with her eyes sparkling, her smile shy, her cheeks pink, and the smell of her desire permeating the air between them, was Bella.

Bella cleared her throat, "Sorry it took me so long."

Jacob leaned out the window, smirking, and offered her his hand.

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><p>I know I said I was retiring from fanfic, and I am, but this demanded to be written. There were no JacobBella entries in this contest, I had to do it!

Thanks to **_wolfgirlatheart_** for beta-ing!


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